Explain Yourself! The Reason Why Excuses Sabotage Your Success

>didn’t remind me itwas due today.”
Learn how eliminating excuses will accelerate your- “I am not ready to give my report to the Board
success in life, career, and business.of Directorstomorrow because I was on vacation the
Have you ever been in a situation where you werelast two weeks andI didn’t prepare.”
unable tomake good on a promise or commitment?A reason is defined as a legitimate, truthful account
Perhaps you werelate with a report to yourof asituation which includes explanation of your part.
manager, unable to take a child tothe playground, orRooted ingood judgment, there exists a willingness to
late for dinner with your partner. Thequestion is,own youractions and deal with the consequences.
after the realization sets in that you can notdeliver,Reasons seek toclarify what happened, who was
how do you explain why you were unable toresponsible, and how todeal with the situation and
meetyour obligation? Do you stand in the truth, ownseek immediate solutions so thatone can do better
your actionsand give an honest reason, or do younow and in the future. A reason is notmotivated by
make excusesconcerned only with freeing yourselffear, but driven by respect and integrity. Hereare
from blame?some examples:
Is there a difference? For many of us, we have- “The reason I am late is because I had a flat
probablythought of the two as being one in thetire.”
same. You may beasking yourself, “Is there really- “Although I was assigned this report last Friday,
a difference?” At times, thedistinction betweenthereason my report is late is because the mainframe
the two can be difficult to see. After all,excusescrashedFriday afternoon and has been down ever
have the ability to be disguised as reasons foolingyousince. I haveattempted to retrieve the information
into thinking, “That sounds like a valid reason.”from our satellitelocation, but to no avail.”
In fact,when you tune in and really listen, the facade- “The reason I will not give a Power Point
of an excusewill quickly give way to expose thepresentation isbecause the projector just died. Since
truth of falsehood.it will be at least anhour before we locate a
Explanations come in two forms — excusesreplacement, I will proceed without itand ask that
and reasons.Remember: you make excuses and youyou follow along via my handout.”
give reasons.Action Steps When you are in the moment of
Explanations An excuse is an attempt to free oneselftruth,remember the choice is yours — you can
fromblame by deflecting attention and responsibilitymake excuses or youcan give valid reasons. Here are
ontosomeone or something else. Excuses diminisha few questions to askyourself before you speak
your powerand say “I am not willing to takeout to determine if you are aboutto make excuses
responsibility. Instead, Iwill settle for whatever pathor provide a reason:
others choose for me as a resultof my actions.”1. What is your intent - is it to release yourself from
Making excuses will erode othersconfidence in you,totalblame or to provide a straightforward, honest
and destroy your self-respect. Therefusal to beaccount of thesituation and your actions?
personally accountable is rooted in the fear offailure -2. Are you willing to accept the consequences of
to be known as someone who did not deliver.youractions and take steps to improve the situation?
Thisdefense mechanism results in a plea to convince3. Are you willing to honestly acknowledge the
others tooverlook your part and to minimize thedegree ofyour responsibility, and is there anything
damage caused byyour role in a given situation.you could havedone differently?
To say one has a “good excuse” is anThe next time you are faced with the prospect of
oxymoron whichimplies there is a difference betweenexplainingyour actions, ask yourself “Is this an
good and bad excuses.All excuses are bad andexcuse or a validreason?” Always find the courage
unacceptable. Here are someexamples:to behave with integrityand honor your self-respect.
- “I was late to the meeting because the clock inWhen faced with a choice, thequestion is what will
thelunchroom has been broken for a month.”you do?
- “My report is late because my manager