Game Plan For Dealing With Vocal, Tithe-Paying, Change-Resistant Older People

In my work as a Growth Consultant I consistentlywill have naysayers pointing out the flaws of your
deal with churches that possess a rich history anddirection. Some of the older folks will become vocal.
the potential for a very bright future. However, thatSadly, there are examples of these same folks
very history with church members over age 60 (plusthreatening the church with their giving. They stand
or minus) regularly works against the church's brightaccountable before God for that. In the meantime,
future. "If we could just do it like we did in the 70syou need to understand that your efforts to reach
or 80s, it would work. Why do we have to do it thislost people could cost you in giving from some of the
new way that you, the lead pastor who was born invocal, tithe-paying, change-resistant older people. You
1975, want to do? Why do we have to changehope that to not be the case, but as the leader you
anything? I like my church just the way it is."need to calculate what that could be. Begin to
I ask every reader to be clear on these componentsformulate how the church's budget would need to
of this article:adjust if that occurred.
- I was born in 1954 so I am not a spring chicken6. Count the emotion cost. As difficult it is to imagine,
just yanging about old people. In fact, I happen tosome of your finest supporters in the early days of
hold in high esteem those who have walked life'syour ministry at this church were some of the older
road ahead of me.people. Now, however, with the changes you are
- This article IS about dealing with older people whoundertaking, there will be some of those same
resist change, are vocal about it and sometimes usepeople that will stand diametrically opposed to you.
their financially giving to the church as leverage toNo matter how tough you are, the pain will be felt.
get their way. Since their way is generally not aboutYour family may experience this as well. You must
change, the pastor who wants to see lost peopleknow your own emotions and be confident that the
come to know Jesus and feels the church needs todirection God has given you is the right one for the
change for that to happen, will have to address thechurch. During the times of severe resistance you will
actions of this oftentimes minority group of olderneed to cling to that confidence.
folks. Remember, they are vocal.7. Create multiple venues for older people to work in
- This article IS NOT about dealing with older peopleministry together with younger people. This will take
in general. If you read it that way, you have read ityou further than any intellectual argument. Even
wrong. Many of our seasoned saints want to seethough the generations are 40 to 60 years apart, the
young people come to know Jesus, and although allmore older people are able to interact with younger
of your changes may not be their style, theyfolks the better. Please know that in some cases,
understand mission and will stand with you.the older folks may be resistant to this because they
I literally had one client tell me that an olderare comfortable with the older group they have been
gentleman told the pastor that if the pastor did notwith for over 40 years. It is your job as the senior
start wearing a tie on Sunday that this olderleader to cast vision and excitement to
gentleman was going to leave the church along withcross-generational ministry that all parties come to
his tithes. When I heard this, the great proverb (I'msee its value.
sure it's there someplace) came to mind, "Don't let8. Explain everything. There are not many things
the door hit you..." I resisted suggesting that to theworse for a long-term church member than for an
pastor. My guess is that he already had the thought.eager young pastor who takes a hard right turn and
Here is a game plan for your consideration. I implorechange everything without explaining "Why." So don't
you to read with spiritual eyes. I ask you to pray fordo that. Explain everything. Certainly there are very
God's specific direction for your church. For some thisgood reasons why you are changing music, attire,
issue has been excruciatingly difficult. You see thewhatever you are changing, etc. You will forgo many
potential for the church but the barriers of vocal,headaches by taking the time to explain "Why."
tithe-paying, change-resistant older people seemPeople, old and young, like to know "Why." Make
impenetrable.sure your "Why" always ties to mission.
PRE-CHANGEDURING CHANGE
1. PRAY. If you look at this first step as a "Yeah,9. Accept the departures. Never go into a period of
yeah, we do that" and do not give credence to thechange looking for a fight. At the same time, you
seriousness of sustained, intentional and ferventmust understand that there will be some
prayer you need not read any further. Do thischange-resistant older people who will not make the
change thing without prayer and I can assure youtrip with you. Every pastor hates this thought.
the church will be upside down quickly. It is criticalChange will be slowed dramatically if your entire
that you have the mind of the Lord before you takefocus is on keeping everyone. You must be willing to
any steps in moving your church to a point oflose people in changing the church to reach lost
change. This time of prayer is not an extendedpeople. If you are unwilling to lose those resistant to
devotional time nor is it a weekend away. It isthe changes you received from God during your
long-term prayer. If you sense that God is taking youextensive time in prayer, then you need to go back
a direction reaching a new generation you must do allto prayer and start the process over again.
you can to be assured in your heart that it is in factDepartures will occur. Be kind and loving when they
God, not just the latest and greatest new thing inoccur but stay the course.
how to grow a church. Then do all you can to10. Do not capitulate. Everything within you will want
communicate this to everyone, specifically your olderto capitulate on one level or another to a
people.change-resistant demand. Do not allow this to happen.
2. Prepare. Once you have the clear sense that GodOnce you are clear on direction, do not give way to
is moving you into and through an era of change inthose who would seek to distract the direction God
the church you must prepare to be successful in thisgave you. This does not mean you have to be a
venture. It's all in the preparation. Think through asdictator. It does mean that leadership demands a
many eventualities as possible. Do all you can toconfidence in direction and you must possess that.
involve at appropriate levels those older people whoWhen the change-resistant folks want you to
can be helpful and influential in the change. In thatcompromise you should do two things: be kind and
preparation, however, you must direct its course.be confident in your direction. Remember your
You should not prepare for change by groupmission. Capitulation devalues mission.
consensus. Preparation does not mean you have an11. Stay the course. This process will never take only
inflexible plan. Rather it is quite the opposite, meaningweeks. It will take months and years to fully
you think through all possibilities.implement. You made a choice during your intense
3. Talk to the influencers. Whenever possible, welltime of prayer at the beginning. You decided that the
before the season of change is set in motion, do allpain of not reaching those far from God was greater
you can to develop relational capital with thethan the pain of being at odds with vocal,
influencers in your older population. Help thosetithe-paying, change-resistant older people. With that
influencers tune into the mission of the church, tonoted, you must be faithful to His call on your life to
reach those who do not know the Lord. Help themlead your church. Make the changes necessary. Be
learn that the church is not about those inside thefaithful. Stay the course.
four walls, rather those outside. Do all you can toAt the end of the day you will stand before God and
merit their trust. Talk to them about that whichgive account for what you did at the church where
matters to God, people who are far from Him. Helpyou were assigned. As noble are the causes of
them understand that the people most likely to makeappreciating heritage, honoring our elders and learning
a life-transforming decision to accept Jesus are thefrom history, so much more is the cause of
folks under age 40 and even more so under age 25.presenting Jesus to those who do not know him.
Talk to them about some of their grandchildren who,Whether the older people were able to keep
sadly, many of them have strayed from the faith orwhatever events or schedules they had enjoyed for
never had a real encounter with Him. What wouldthe previous years or keep their dress code and
attract their grandchildren? Is it grandpa's suite andmusic will not matter. Whether unchurched John or
tie and hymns?Mary from down the block have a life-changing
4. Clarify the church's mission. Many in the Americanencounter with the living God will matter.
church have lost sight of our Matthew 28:19 andPray, prepare and talk to influencers in your older
Luke 19:10 reason for being. Without thatpopulation. Be clear on your mission to reach the lost.
understanding there really is no reason for change.Count the financial and emotional cost. Blend both
Many churches' activities point to a mission that isyoung and old in ministry areas. Accept departures of
nice but is nowhere near our mandate from Jesus. Inlong-time members. Do not capitulate and certainly
most cases churches are comfortable and moststay the course. When you do, the great church you
people including older people enjoy comfort. Ourare privileged to serve will grow. You must
mission is not comfort. You should teach and preachacknowledge Jesus' desire to seek and to save what
on mission well ahead of any major change to reachwas lost and His command to go and make disciples
more people with the Gospel. Then while in the midstof all nations. His mandate is clear. Our change to
of change continue the same.allow that to happen should be just as clear along
5. Count the financial cost. Once change begins youwith the spiritual resolve to see it through.