| Difficult executives are the bane of their peers and a | | | | have to cover the same territory over and over and |
| major drag on the energy of their bosses. There is a | | | | help them see the similarity between behaviors |
| particular type that I will call the "unintentional jerk" | | | | incidents, other people's interpretations of their |
| who has the best of intentions and firmly believes | | | | actions and the repercussions. Most have a hard time |
| that they are doing what is best for their company | | | | generalizing what they have learned from one |
| or team, yet leaves a trail of destruction as they | | | | situation to something similar. Each incident/example |
| plow through the organization trying to achieve their | | | | seems entirely unique. It takes significant patience on |
| goals. And, when confronted about their behavior, | | | | the part of his/her coach and key |
| they are shocked to hear that people are upset with | | | | stakeholders…especially the stakeholders because |
| them. They aren't necessarily passive aggressive | | | | they will continue to experience problems as the |
| types (see my briefing titled: The Insidious Executive) | | | | coachee takes two steps forward and one step |
| because they aren't doing things behind people's | | | | backwards repeatedly. |
| back…they are blatantly pursuing their goals and | | | | You might ask, "Why bother? Why not just fire the |
| running over people in the process. | | | | executive?" If the executive is someone who has |
| These executives are frequently the "true believer" | | | | risen through the ranks, you've invested a great deal |
| types, who want to do what's best but are deluded | | | | in their development already. If they are committed |
| by their own grandiosity and think their way is the | | | | to changing, and can make the changes, they are |
| best way. They think and act in a way that conveys | | | | likely to be very grateful and even more committed |
| the message: "I know better than you so get out of | | | | to your company's success. On the other hand, if the |
| my way because I'm doing what's best for the | | | | executive is fairly new (less than one year on the |
| company." They just can't put themselves in other | | | | job), it's probably better to cut your losses and cut |
| people's shoes and imagine how their actions are | | | | them loose. Keep in mind that changing long-standing |
| impacting others or that they might not have a | | | | behavior takes time. Generally it takes a minimum of |
| license on brilliance. They are oblivious to how | | | | six to twelve months to make the necessary |
| arrogant they appear. | | | | changes. |
| The good news is, however, that the unintentional | | | | Key suggestions for working with and helping |
| jerk is often open to change, whereas, the true jerk | | | | unintentional jerks: |
| could care less. The challenge for a boss is to | | | | 1. Don't assume ill intent or you'll set them up for |
| determine where their subordinate fits on the jerk | | | | failure. They will never be able to overcome your |
| continuum. If the person truly is an unintentional jerk, | | | | prejudice. |
| then they may be able to adjust their attitude and | | | | 2. Provide specific examples … in detail. |
| behavior if they work hard at it. True jerks aren't | | | | 3. Explain the repercussions of their actions. Don't |
| worth the investment. | | | | assume they can connect the dots. |
| Several years ago, I was considered for a coaching | | | | 4. Have them team up with someone who is more |
| gig to help a very narcissistic CTO. I knew it was | | | | "interpersonally adept" who can provide real time |
| unlikely that he would select me primarily because I | | | | observations and suggestions. A good role model. |
| told him that I would require him to acknowledge to | | | | 5. Monitor their performance and reward successive |
| his peers that he had been difficult to work with and | | | | approximations to the desired behavior. Don't just |
| he said he wouldn't do that. I told his boss that they | | | | wait to reward them when they hit the target |
| were wasting their money investing in him. Not | | | | because they won't do so on the first dozen |
| surprisingly, he ended up choosing someone less | | | | attempts but they will inch closer if given useful |
| confrontational than me. I later learned that he quit | | | | feedback and encouragement. |
| two months into the coaching process with the other | | | | 6. If they don't make the attempt to change or |
| coach…again, no surprise. | | | | simply aren't able to learn after repeated coaching (6 |
| Unlike that CTO, unintentional jerks feel remorse and | | | | months max) . . . move them out of a leadership role |
| want to get along with others but they need help. | | | | or out of the company. The cost to you and your |
| It's a tedious process because you have to provide | | | | employees' morale will be too significant if you keep |
| real time examples, help the executive understand | | | | the executive in a management position. Their |
| how their behavior impacts others, and then work | | | | so-called productivity/creativity will most likely not |
| with them to try new behaviors. Frequently, you | | | | offset the toll they will take. |